Sheryl has managed teams for 20 plus years and has always had the ability to motivate others. That was until a number of changes in her personal life made her aware that there was a communication pattern that was repeating and holding her back from working and living at her best.
She did not feel safe to speak and ask for what she needed in fact she didn’t really know what she wanted other than to be happy and feel successful
She found herself often feeling misunderstood and frustrated so overtime gave up trying to speak. At first this showed up more in her personal relationships then it eventually impacted her at work.
For many years she wore her professional mask giving people the perception of a very successful and confident business woman, when inside she felt incomplete without the happiness at home she desired.
Making friends was difficult and being honest with family members was even more challenging. Sheryl hit rock bottom when a series of events hit her in quick succession.
Divorce and then death of her mum made her aware of some repeating communication patterns.
She dealt with both of these by burying her head in work taking on promotion and more responsibility. She soon found herself falling into the trap unable to say no, or ask her manager for help. She eventually burnt herself out and by May 2008 she decided the solution was to leave her job. It is only now looking back that she can see the pattern. The problem was the same - she didn’t know what she wanted and so couldn’t ask for help. The same thing also happened with her previous employer in 1999.
Although leaving the jobs and getting divorced did bring with it a temporary reprieve as the saying goes “a change was as a good as a rest.” It wasn’t long before the pattern started to re appear. Now married to Mark for 4 years they both noticed signs that the problems they had both had in their previous marriage were showing up with them.
But the final blow came when she recognised that she had taught that same behaviour to her daughter who at 15 started to self harm and was unable to communicate what she wanted or needed to feel safe and supported through the transition of the teens.
Despite wanting to be the best mum she could be, she had failed to create an environment where her daughter felt safe to speak and history was repeating itself yet again.
By this time Sheryl had already established Step by Step Listening and ironically was marketing herself as a mums and daughter relationship coach. The professional mask began to crack and the feeling of failure started to leak through her communications.
Sales went down and she withdrew and started to avoid conversations or relationships that would challenge her in anyway. Once again the temptation to blame the job/business came in and she almost repeated the pattern again suggesting to her husband that she close the business down and go get a job stacking shelves at Asda.
Fortunately this time she did not listen to her inner critic and instead remembered all the knowledge and resources she had developed over the past 5 years from coaching mums and daughters, business owners and husband and wives. Instead of giving up she found the courage and the strength to gain clarity of what she ‘really wanted’ and knew that all she had to do to work that out was to flip the switch marked “take your own advice”
Having now coached several hundred business owners to sell in a way that felt right, unravelled what prevented people from outsourcing and delegating successfully and bringing harmony to many mums and daughters, fathers and sons and husband and wives, she knew that she had the formula. She just had to switch the switch called “Take Your Own Advice”
2012 – 2015 was a period of time where Sheryl took time to turn her own inner critic into her very own strength and solution detective by practicing and implementing what she had taught almost 150 clients.
In 3 simple steps she was able to focus on what she wanted and what worked for her to feel happy and successful and “The strength and solution detective” was born as Sheryl is fondly known today.